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Late Revelations

Below is a timeline of facts that it took me way too long to discover and the age at which I found out.

  • 18: Swans can fly
  • 19: It’s the whale that is called Moby Dick
  • 19: The phrase is “if it’s any consolation”, not “if it’s any constellation”
  • 20: The phrase “scrunch or fold?” used in the infamous Andrex advert refers to how someone wipes their arse, not blow their nose
  • 21: There is only one singer in Billy Joel’s Piano Man
  • 21: The explanation “we count in base ten because we have ten fingers” is actually an argument that we should count in base eleven
  • 22: The melodies of the alphabet song, ba ba black sheep and twinkle twinkle little star are all the same
  • 22: Eritrea is not pronounced “a-ree-tree”
  • 22: Ferroro Rocher is not the product name—Ferroro is the company and Rocher is the product (likewise for Lindt and Lindor)
  • 23: The Hanson song “MMMBop” is not pronounced “Em Em Em Bop”
  • 23: The term “dry cleaning” refers to the absence of water used in the cleaning process, not that the business offers both drying and cleaning services
  • 24: The food polenta is not the same thing as placenta
  • 25: Cystic fibrosis and cerebral palsy are two different conditions
  • 25: Labradors can be yellow; it’s not the case that every vaguely golden, large dog is a golden retriever
  • 26: Palette, pallet, and palate are three different words—I was using palette for all three